The Beatles - Blackbird

Little baby Gerri came into the world on Sunday about 4.30pm. It ended very suddenly, Ellen's hearty sucking on the gas and air reached a climax, she sat upright soon after and it was over.

Like that. The nurse looked at me with kind concern and asked "You Ok?" and my stress addled mind twigged that baby had entered into the world.

We then waited. Ellen had to go into surgery to make sure everything was alright (will spare you the details) and was finally out by 12. She finally drifted to sleep back in the room and I took the floor. My battle for sleep with the reclining chair lost and the desire to rest too great. Oily, tired and feeling like I'd been beaten around the head, I curled up at the foot of the bed and slept.

It's Tuesday now. I'm writing this at home where things are starting to feel more normal again. The weekend feels like it was of another time, the slow torture of our time at hospital will stay with me for many years, especially seeing what E went through. It felt fitting to give baby a name, especially after seeing the black and white pictures of the little one, so small yet so perfect. One of the nurses even took some foot and hand prints which she presented to us in a card. To be surrounded by tragedies of early infant death must take its toll but the nurses and sisters treated us with such tenderness and concern. One was a bit stern and grumpy, I christened her 'Chuckles' which brought a smile to Ellen's face.

Despite all we went through we managed a laugh, and will continue to in the weeks and months to come. X will be returning from Ashford on Friday so life will continue. He cleaned up round his Dads' for Christmas and will return laden with more treats and gifts than he knows what to do with. We mean to have a clear out of his old stuff and will have the time to do so. Whether motivation comes is another matter. I've started on the washing so I can distract myself, but also to keep the twitchy feeling of doing something at bay. More than ever the mental to-do list cycles through my brain, interspersed with sadder moments of introspection.

Still I feel positive today. Our little one has left us and we'll never forget her, but things do go on.

... it didn't turn out as we'd hoped.

We'd been in high spirits. Optimistic at the long odds, hoping for the best, whatever. When the test results came in Tuesday evening they hit hard.

Baby's test result came up positive for Trisonomy 21. That sounds like a nightclub, I know. Actually it's a positive test for Down's Syndrome and we were both in pieces.

Last night and today have been the hardest 24 hours of my life. I've been through that thick, overpowering grief that leaves you either numb or tears you apart. Luckily for us we have Xander to keep us strong and together. It being Christmas he's in the finest of spirits and we will do nothing to spoil that for him.

23rd will be an early Xmas for us, gifts and grub with Mum before X goes off to spend a few days with his Dad. This'll buy us some breathing space in which we can take our next steps. Committing those to text is something I can't do right now, we've made a decision which is about as dreadful as it gets, but the right one nonetheless.

I don't think December 25th will ever be the same for me again though. Hopefully the dregs of the year pass by quickly and 2011 gives us a fresh start. That's the thought keeps me going right now.

Anyway, if you're reading this before Christmas Day I hope yours is a festive and happy one.

A.

Mini me latest..

For the first time ever, I'm writing this from the polar environs of Ellen's attic. Yes, my PC has finally followed me over to KT8 and is resident in the loft.

Latest news on the parenthood front is mixed. We had the 13 week scan and blood test where little junior refused to show his/her face. The resulting 2D computer snap would only be of fascination to mothers or people of a similar persuasion. Head? Check! Spine? Check! The results were emailed off to family for their delectation. Any pregnancy layman would've been underwhelmed with the results though.

The thing that really got my attention is the fact that the little one is pretty much perfectly formed, already! The dance of the ultrasound scan showed the skeletal system, a strongly beating heart, two hemispheres of the brain.. all seems in place and baby is only the length of a packet of cigarettes..

We were in fine spirits till Thursday when Ellen received a call following the blood test. According to analysis the baby has a one in five chance of developing Down's Syndrome. It's complex, but we were required to pay a visit to St George's Hospital in Tooting today for a more invasive procedure. I think we were both in shock when we walked into the grey 1970s hospital block, poor Ellen more than I. Will spare you the details, but we left in much finer spirits. The staff we saw were incredibly attentive, from the slightly tired looking receptionist who looked like one of the daughters out of 'Desmonds' to the kindly, bassy voiced consultant in scrubs who reminded me of Vijay Singh. His optimism and cheery manner put us both at ease and we left the place is much higher spirits than we first drew up this morning.

The results of the latest procedure should reach us by Thursday at the latest, Tuesday at the earliest. We've resolved to be optimistic till then and to occupy ourselves in the meantime. As my sister says, resorting to tired folksy cliche which is so unlike herself: 'It aint over till the fat lady sings...

She is right though...

A.

A taste of winter..

Boy versus tree..

Early December 2010 - freezing and snowy in Hampton Court Park. I love all the shades of white, black and grey. If it's like this right now, the prospect of bleak winter looms.

So winter's early this year. The usual December dank and dark has been replaced with something frankly arctic in 2010. The powdery stuff's a joy, it comes up in satisfying handfuls which can be shaped and thrown with pleasure (see the first pic above). However the winter wonderland vibe gets tired pretty quick. A light dusting of pavements and roads alike becomes icy and impassable for both the old folks and the SUVs.

With the sunshine today, its thankfully all in full retreat. The usual English winter (mild and Vitamin D deficient) will be in full affect again soon.

For the time being, that is. What odds for a rerun?

A.

A few pics from Edinburgh

A weekend visit to see Jim in Scotland with the boys. Cold, rainy and dark but a fantastic time was had by all.

Harry & Mark looking suprisingly poised tucking into the whiskies at erm.. Whiski on the Royal Mile.

Mark on top of Arthur's Seat.. with the world at his feet.

A wee toast atop the hill..

The sinister, ghostly head haunts old Edinburgh...


...he cheers up when you buy him a drink though..


Spied on the walls of Whiski - the decor is a mix of kitsch, whisky boxes and pictures of Alfred Hitchcock.

Volunteered at X's school for the first time today...

A date to look forward to..

Just had the 7 week scan. In just 2 weeks the indistinct splodge on the monitor has become something alot more recognisable. I found watching the tiny heart speeding away (at 150bpm according to Ellen) almost hypnotic.

Yes, new life is on its way - fingers crossed. We'll be expecting a mini Alex or Ellen to make their bow on or around 26th June 2011.

And I gather that's when life REALLY gets interesting...


A.

The best part of Halloween

I was aiming for a 'Blade Runner' kind of vibe..

The image never beats the memory, no matter how many pictures you try to take.. but still you try..

Taken whilst ascending the Millennium Wheel 27th October 2010. The city of London stretched out below us, you could almost hear it begging to be photographed. Here we have the view down towards Charing Cross train station and Embankment Bridge. The Post Office Tower sticks up far left background like something the Teletubbies would have in their front room...

Coming down... Houses of Parliament on the right. My Nokia failed to capture the play of light on the surface of the river.. looks like a dimly reflective piece of linoleum..

I'll be taking my 90 Gig camera up there next time, I reckon!


Alex

Looks like we're in business again..

I often wonder how much more varied my life is now compared to before I met Ellen and X.

And it looks like it's about to get even more packed and challenging....

A couple of weeks ago I was still revelling in the quality of my goodies, some wag even suggested I should sell my produce online (Ellen might not've been impressed with that!). However, I've something else to consider now - as we speak, E is apparently about 5 weeks pregnant - I've done it..again (???!!!!)

Being on the outside looking in, I can only gauge how things are progressing through how Ellen is coming along. Her hormone levels are rising comfortably and energy levels seem lower than last time - something is certainly brewing. This time she's even showing my the baby stuff that she has an eye on - a nifty pram/car seat/carry cot number which is on sale right now (a hint perhaps?). Not being the finest prognosticator even I can see the omens seem very promising..

So the scan is tomorrow. It won't be real to me till I see something on the computer screen, and according to Ellen we might even see a heartbeat (!) That prospect excites and terrifies me in equal measure..

Anyway, will keep you posted. If little junior makes an appearance you will be amongst the first to know.

Alex

Ghostbusters - Ray Parker Jr. (HQ Audio)

And the results are in..

Yeah, I'm the daddy. My swimmers are packing a fertility punch similar to that of the great George Reeves (above). As you may have read, I dropped off a sample of my goodies for analysis the other week. The men in lab coats have got in touch to say that I'm bringing some good stuff to the table in our quest for parenthood. Just in case you're interested, semen quality is measured as a percentage - 20-25% is considered 'good'. My score came in at.. 65%!!? Woo hoo!!!

I find this fact equal parts fascinating, hilarious and inspiring. A warning to any women readers though: don't shake my hand right now, you might get a little more than you bargained for!

Certainly not silent.. or smooth

Watching The Expendables was like being badly let down by someone you adore when you were a kid. I'd worked myself into a froth of expectation, only to be served up a mixture of angst, gunfire and poor CGI. For solace I turned towards a reassuring presence, like a lover who turns to an old flame in times of need.

And what an old flame it was. We pitched up to the Prince Charles Cinema to watch Arnie in the pinnacle of 80s macho action flicks, Commando. Sharing the theatres with a couple of hundred fanboys we whooped and hollered our approval during the opening credits. No nuanced, thoughtful heroes here..

I wasn't old enough to catch Commando on its release in 1985. My peers and I got our Arnie kicks on the small screen during the early 90s, and we couldn't get enough of what we saw. Transfer this movie to the big screen and the experience becomes even louder, bloodier and more entertaining.

Not since watching Ghostbusters have I witnessed such a level of audience response. This film has cult status, and it warmed my heart to be in a crowd of worshipers who felt the same. We laughed in all the right places, gasped at the substandard acting and lack of continuity. But most of all, we relished the punchlines, Arnie's metal piping wisecrack nearly earning a standing ovation at the end.

The blemishes of this film are as blatant as the caterpillar moustache on Bennett's upper lip when you watch it up close. Firstly Arnie himself, his inappropriate deadpan is just hysterical. His unblinking eyes and sweaty, shiny countenance are so reminiscent of the Terminator that a viewer struggles to believe he is the caring, family man we are expected to think he is. One minute the man is tenderly feeding a deer with his daughter, the next minute he is shooting a man in cold blood without a second thought! It's that contrast which runs through the film, making it unbelievable, but hilariously funny.

You don't fully appreciate the magnitude of the killing till its magnified onto a 30 foot screen in front of you. It's relentless, clinical and utterly run of the mill. No 'war is hell' message here, Matrix mows down the villains with ruthless efficiency, all the while with the expression of someone suffering just a minor inconvenience in their day. Devotees of film always state the 80s action films portray US military might and in Commando we see Uncle Sam at his most powerful and assertive. Arnie's assault of the enemy stronghold is a case in point. He is a one man tide of death who cannot be stopped, killing everyone in opposition to him. GW Bush's line of "You're either with us, or with the evildoers" comes to mind - it really is THAT black and white. It's the final scene that cracks me up - Matrix declines the offer to sett up his unit again, flying off into the sunset with daughter and love interest back to...? A multiple murder inquiry, surely? As soon as Matrix steps back into civilian life, he's toast and the cops will be waiting for him when the happy family get home.

I guess he could kill all of them, too, mind..

Vernon Wells as Bennett is worth the cost of the ticket alone. The filmmakers went for the merciless serial killer yin to Arnie's shiny, rippling yang - but gave the viewer's expectations a real shaking. Why the overweight Australian Freddie Mercury look? What were they thinking !?? Bennett's first real appearance is from Matrix's sprawled POV, we here the heavy thump of his boots off camera, he sounds like a badass and we expect someone formidable. But, the enormous belly in a chainmail vest, all topped off with homoerotic caterpillar moustache? The look screams 'partyboy' to me. Were the Village People in the market for another member in the 80s or something? His delivery is a work of genius, spanning the whispery staccato "Put your knife away and shut..your mouth" to the full on google eyed war perv "I don't need a gun.. I'M GONNA KILL YOU NOW!!" Picking such an atypical villain in such a murder by numbers action flick makes Commando the standout flick of the genre for me. Alongside laughable continuity errors and allusions to Arnie's super abilities (he'd give the X-Men a run for their money), it's the presence of Bennett which gives us fanboys such a warm glow when we're watching.

Its Ghostbusters at the PCC, next. And I for one, cannot wait. I'm sure there's gonna be a couple of hundred fans in the ticket queue who will be feeling the same.

Alex

A dilemma I have..

***Precious metals update.. Silver sails up towards $22 per ounce, Gold seemingly set above $1,300/oz. Things seem really cagey right now.. so I say again, get some if you can***

So me and Ellen are trying for a baby right now. My mind didn't even conceive parenthood a couple of years back, but now it's become a major foundation of my future plans. How much life can change, huh?

Anyway, gotta do my share. E is monitoring her diet and bodily state daily, and I made an appointment to get my swimmers tested. Seems a bit unfair, really. In the struggle for conception the woman has to check her cycle, diet, body temperature, and all that.. all the guy's gotta do is provide a sample of his goodies.

..and that a real burden.. right lads?

I paid a visit to the GP who was a girl about my age. She couldnt fully keep the smile off her face whilst detailing the donation procedure whilst I tried to remain neutral. However, I couldnt help but raise a bemused eyebrow a la Roger Moore as she reached the coup de grace.

1. The clinic which receives samples is at Kingston Hospital and is open daily from 9-11.
2. Those samples need to be under an hour old to give an accurate reading.

That leaves me with a problem. Putting it delicately, do I 'prepare' a sample before I go or generate one on site? The idea of sprinting for the bus with a cooling tube of my vitals does not appeal, so I'll probably need to pay a visit to the gents in the hospital instead (?!!) Now maybe its just me, but I was brought up thinking doing stuff like that is pretty seedy.. I'll need to get a long grey coat to look the part.. Will it set a precedent? I hope not. But if I get an urge to stick a coffee vending machine and MRSA posters into the bedroom, I just might start to worry...

Sept 4th - Got some chopping and burning to do

Timbuk3 - The Futures So Bright (I Gotta Wear Shades)

On dogging and weightier matters...

That got your attention didn't it?

A thought I want to share with you.

Peoples' actions can really fire the imagination. One of my work colleagues is a regular absentee, she appears intermittently in the office with a smile and a cheery manner before being signed off for a further week. Her absence is not the issue though. Lets call her 'Beth' 'Beth' always has a cheerful, flirty manner about her which doesn't gel with her sometime angst ridden facebook posts. The girl has issues, methinks.

Anyway, 'Beth' also has a reputation. To some, she happily recounts tales of her romantic entanglements and they're sound pretty checkered! Now I try my best to remain non-judgemental: the girl has a sex drive like the Flying Scotsman, that's fair enough. However I do fear for a single girl who parks up in isolated car parks looking for 'company' and is a regular on the swingers scene! What is going on in the mind of the person doing that?

Besides that I'm casting my mind to more worthy matters. I'm on a real self sufficiency tip right now. Maybe it's my time of life or maybe its all the the racy economic material I read at work (ha ha), but I want to get back to the land a little. Have been stocking up on the gold and silver to satisfying effect (get some! If you can) but want to move into other avenues of self sustainment (is sustainment a word? I digress). Brewing my own booze is the next dream. The idea of having a few kegs up in the attic would give me a real buzz and it sounds simple. Sit and wait. You can't really cock it up too badly, right?

Where I go from there in any one's guess, but breeding chickens in the back garden is a long way away..

I miss my salad days..

Even if they weren't as salady as other peoples'.

Today is alot less debauched than it used to be. The sensory pleasures which my young work collegues talk of are a fond memory.

Dont get me wrong, I wouldnt have my life any other way right now. Its just sometimes my eyes go misty with the tales of swordsmanship and nights out that get told.

Working in our facilities team is a young lad called Joe. Charming and pleasant, he has a guy next door kind of vibe to him. In conversation with him recently, I discovered he is also in a purple patch with that ladies which he'll remember for the rest of his life! Ever have one of those moments, when you're bagging the ladies well out of your league? Joe is the Wayne Rooney of the romantic stakes and is scoring some stunners.

Red top talk aside, an afternoon chat with Joe made me think. He was showing the facebook pics of his latest honeys to me and Denis, a Ugandan father of four in his forties. We expressed our respect and admiration at the high quality ladies he'd been bedding (and I mean, lad's mag class) whilst he laughed awkwardly.

Good luck to him. He is 24 and should make the most out of him prime 'duelling' years (know what I mean? ha ha). Sometimes I still feel like I'm still in the middle of my twenties with a prodigious alcohol tolerance and a taste for night time antics. Hell, sometimes I even miss it. Reality kicks in when I do hit the town. It's loud, normally I'm standing and there is a faint tang of desperation in the air.

Can't wait to November, a social visit to Edinburgh is planned. Will be wonderful to hang out with dear old friends who I see too little of. My life consists of mainly parenthood and powerplates right now, along with attentions and creature comforts I've never come close to experiencing before. However, something I feel something has been lost.

So, no midlife crisis yet. But in the meantime a bender with the boys would be a treat

...draws breath....

Yeah, its been nearly a month - I know.

Have given into the guilt and a vague yearning to post stuff for your amusement today.

I'm back over in Surbiton for one night only, to blog and generally fanny about. So, here's the latest pics taken of my Summer so far.

All signposts lead to Sandy Balls (heh, heh, heh!). New Forest in July 2010


My friend Steve does his best Dr Livingstone impression.. taken from my previous blog..

My niece, Ella. At the age of 9 months she has the 'we are not amused' expression of her mother. A formidable character in the making.. already.

X and friend enjoy an ice cream larger than usually allowed. A day out that fired up the imagination of both diners! Saturday 28th August 2010

X takes on the sea at Brighton with his usual determination 30/8/10

So there's a selection: Family, old friends and a glassy eyed looking African explorer. There was a frenetic film of a battle royale between pipe cleaner animals filmed this weekend, but that will follow soon. I can tell you're intrigued..

Life rattles on at its usual breakneck pace. I'm ready for Autumn now myself, I plan some changes by year end and the prospect of them gives me heart. My highlight was collapsing in the Horatio Inn on Brighton Pier between arcade sessions with Ellen and X. In his absence the latter had weighed me down with the usual which young children chose to 'delegate' to you: rucksack full of swimming stuff and Ribena, dad hat (sunburn on my head is a new pleasure I now enjoy), foam sword and Ben 10 truck. You know, the sort of thing that screams 'Parent!' or 'Special Needs!' Gave me a chuckle, that..

Feeding Ole Smokey: Take 1

Feedin' Ole Smokey: Take 2

At cinemas this winter...

What were they thinking?

The latest remake of another elderly TV franchise makes its' bow at theatres this December.

Yes, it's Yogi Bear! The Jellystone grizzly and his mate Boo-boo will be up to much pic-a-nic basket related antics over the festive season.

Another insipid CGI remake of a kiddies classic. So what? Normally I would be ignoring this, but check out the poster.. Yogi and Boo-boo share blank, demented serial killer expressions which woud scare the crap out of any child queuing up to pick up a ticket.

Two things that are precious to me..

Some of my silver - 41 ounces and counting..

Just got one of these.. and that's plenty!

Always.. be..

Cleaning?

Blogging? ( I try..)

I dusted down my Glengarry Glenross T-Shirt which was a present from the brother in law. The movie happens to be one of the most compelling 100mins of cinema I've ever seen. Profanity, bitching, endless stress.. would the audience want a career in sales after viewing this?

Love the closing motormouth Blake, Alec Baldwin's finest ever role. Whenever I watch his 'pep talk' to the staff the hair on my neck stands on end...

With fear, I suppose..

Alec Baldwin - Best performance

A change is as good as a rest..

Unless you've got four little kids to deal with..

It was gonna be so restful. The three of us exploring the New Forest, getting back to nature, relaxing and chilling out..

If only...

Are family holidays supposed to be like this? X is normally a sweet, charming dude - until he is paired up with his best buddy Samuel. Add in two younger brothers and you get childminding in a tent.. not a holiday...

It was amazing. I hoped X could hang out with his buddies, even make some new ones. Trouble is, add Samuel to the mix and you have bickering, screaming arguments and super competitiveness. We spent nearly the whole weekend firefighting and trying to diffuse tensions between the two of them. Meanwhile middle brother Richard was whinging and incredibly needy whilst cheerful, dirty William needed to be chained down to stop him running off. I kept on looking at toddler William's snot plugged and dirty face with a sense of dismay. This child was a world away from my immaculate niece - he wore his food like camo paint and had a thick layer of it.. up to his eyeballs!

I did have some moments of peace. I would've liked to have been able to share a few more with Ellen and X, but it was not to be. My appreciation of how unrewarding a 'family holiday' can be is a revelation. As is my respect for Xander's sweeter more well behaved chums. Hopefully we'll be seeing more of them in future, and less of the stressful ones...

X tells it how it is

Updates and my redneck chair...

Big, important visitors to the office today,

All the chiefs are dressed in their finery, scurrying about with busy looks on their faces. They're taking no risks. Even Dan, my office muse has been packed off down to the postroom for the duration!

Before I forget, check out my streetdaq page again. My writing style doesnt really stand out, but comparing ex-England cricketer Derek Pringle to an icebreaker was a metaphor I'm proud of.

So what's going on, with me? Well, now Ive got a place to call my own, I'm rather enjoying the simpler things in life. For months I've been looking out for a beanbag to relax on, but the pieces of flimsy, flammable cr*p on sale haven't looked too enticing. It all changed with the monster I picked up from Argos the other day. It has speakers so you can plug it into your sound system/telly and also a massage function too. Here's a pic of one very happy customer..


Yeah, I know. I look like a cola supping, potato chip chomping fool here. That was the intention.

My beanbag is a real self-indulgent piece of kit, I love it! Feels like I should be watching Nascar wearing one of those beer holding hats when I sit in it.

Alex

It's a mug's game! (redux)

Tempting fate there.

Ha ha.

A footballing spanner was thrown into the works yesterday. I had a punt on Rosenberg, who are the Manchester United of Norwegian football. Against Odd Grenland, they were winning comfortably 1-0, before putting one into their own net with 15 mins to go! Final result 1-1. I'll be putting my visits to paddypower on hold for a while, methinks.

And it keeps on piling up..

I won't bore you with the back story. It's just the gambling winnings are still coming(???!!!)

The European competitions are just starting, so I thought Id have a punt - both bets have come in - I'm £377 quid (further) up!!! All this stuns me, as my luck just keeps on running.. better touch wood as I think this. My latest jammy moment was a last minute winner for Maritimo versus Sporting Fingal. Sporting.. Fingal???!!! Sounds like a team from Craggy Island, right? Well, they held on till the 89th minute before the Portugese finally grabbed a winner for 3-2.

Out of curiosity I checked my record in the last four months. Of the 32 bets made, I've won 29 of them. I've earned 4 grand and been given me financial freedom unlike any I have ever had. So, what I'm gonna do is leave 20 quid in my online gambling account, and see how when it runs out. Will post the bets here just for my own amusement, with details on my progress... stay tuned..

Alex

My latest scheme/ sanity preserver.

Sisyphus had a hard life and it's on days like this I feel like I know what he went through. My working life feels repetitive and futile right now. All I do is push that rock up the hill and it keeps on rolling straight back down again. And again. And again.

To keep me sane, and stop my brain leaking out of my ears in a grey sludge, I often take up something creative to entertain myself. Here is my latest effort which I'd like to share with you:

Streetdaq is billed as the 'new internet goldmine' by its developers. Prospectors own a 5 year lease on a piece of 'virtual real estate' and can advertise on it/blog about it. Here's a piece of my property empire - it cost me a fiver but for my own mental health I consider money well spent.

Alex

I Am a Paleontologist - They Might Be Giants w/Danny Weinkauf

Xander likes his Beck...

No purple dinosaur s**t for him!

He also happens to be a massive They Might Be Giants Fan, remember them? TMBG have been about for about 30 years now, and recently their output has consisted of some educational (and incredibly catchy) kids albums. X, me and Ellen paid a visit to The Royal Albert Hall to catch their family show.. and what fun it was! Below is the metallic silver penguin which glided over our heads during the show, much to the astonishment of the little ones in the audience.

The band spray a massive stream of coloured confetti over the audience.. much to their astonishment and great pleasure..

X mid mosh, he had a fantastic time and was seriously bummed when it was all over.

'Avatars' of the Two Johns. Operating two puppets above their head, singing clearly and making it an entertaining experience on a massive screen in front of a thousand people takes some doing. Their creativity has to be seen to be believed.

Being surrounded by parents and their young children made me think, 'f**k me, I'm a dad now'.. and that a feeling I am enjoying greatly at the moment.

On a similar note, we've gone garden crazy recently. I picked up one of those garden incinerators from Argos to do belated battle with the garden. Everything from apples, to old thorny shrubbery to a dead hedgehog have met a fiery demise in 'Ole Smokey'. Of course, being a former firebug in my youth I find this tremendously enjoyable. Also, it gives me some satisfaction and order in my life which is often lacked...

Oscar the Grouch really should've replaced the batteries in his smoke alarm..

The only time my team will be top of the table

Coventry City in playoff contention...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/teams/c/coventry_city/default.stm

How does this fat fool keep getting on my telly?!!

Someone will express this better than I, but her is my $0.02 on the matter.

Dunno bout you, but I wasnt invited to the meeting that decided James Cordon would be the football voice of the people. This guy seems to have broken out of his bumbling and not funny niche and suddenly done a Parkie on us. He writes a column in The Times and has a post match talk show on ITV for goodness sake!???

Seriously, I'm racking my brains to see what worth this guy has. His WC scribblings are insight and humour free whilst he has minimal passion or entertainment on telly either! For me he's the bastard child of Chris Moyles and Terry Wogan; without the spiky subversive charm of the former or the smooth appeal of the latter. This fat, football everyman has none of the comedy of Baddiel and Skinner, whose banter and passion ITV obviously hope he will update. Cordon is like the out of shape drinking dudes I work with, not much fun to be around, with only their self deprecating blokeishness as a redeeming factor. Think Peter Kay without the laughs or the energy.

Does this guy really deserve the exposure he's getting right now? Are we really that devoid of TV personalities that we've adopted the fat, annoying one off Gavin and Stacey to be our sporting, cultural representative? With the banality and lack of imagination floating on our airwaves and screens big and small, it doesnt suprise me. It still saddens me a little.

Alex

Righto, time for a proper post.

I was inspired by a nighttime trawl through facebook to write something a little more worthwhile. More than just my football musings, that is.

As a rule, I dont bother facebook, and facebook doesnt bother me. If it wasnt for the people in far flung places, my account would've been long dead. From time to time I do have a trawl, sifting through the silt of inane chatter and unmade social arrangements looking for a diamond or two. The social networking buzz has long since passed, but I do get a kick from seeing how life has treated people in my past. The smooth, creamy faces of yore are now squinty and more wrinkled. There are people engaged who I never thought would be engaged, whilst others are leading lives which I couldn't imagine when I knew them. Makes me thrilled to know life is treating some people well.

Some people are still the same as they always were. Tom still makes the same droll comments which make me chuckle, as he always has. Like Oscar Wilde in a cantankerous, brassy wrapping. However, I'm feeling slightly low today. It seems that bonds of friendship are loosening and coming away when once they were strong. For some this is for positive reasons. My friend Steve, for instance, is going off to Belgium to live with an old flame. She appreciates his full worth now, it seems. This is a guy who has been desperate to give something back to the world over the past few years that I can only be happy for him, despite the fact he is no longer near... free room and board on a European holiday destination though :)

For others, life gets in the way, it seems. I can appreciate that, but it's still hard when you drift away from someone you once had a close rapport with.

Alex

Italians Training for World Cup (secret video)

Were you really THAT suprised?

USA 1 England 1

So here we go again.

England get off to the typical sluggish start despite the hype. I nearly choked on my popcorn after 4 mins when Gerard scored his opener. But our previous of bottling it despite a good start stuck in my mind. And of course my fears came to pass. The ball bounced torturously in front of Robert Green, slipping off his gloves like they'd been greased. Queue bemused delight from the American players and looks of horror from Our Boys.

We've seen it all before of course. The jingoist idiots of the press were predicting 3-1, 2-0 and that sort of thing. How wrong they were. Just because we have a stern, Italian technician who knows what he's talking about, doesnt mean we've got the team to match.

I've always had a grudging respect for the Germans and they didnt disappoint. A clinical demolition of the Australians means they are now amongst the favourites to win the World Cup. Now there's a new generation of German players to despise too, my favourite player is Mesut Ozil, a midfielder of great talent who looks so shifty that he'd make a fine cameo in a 50s Cold War thriller:

You could just imagine Orson Wells shooting him in the opening scene...

I might have a punt on them to win a few more games if there is still cash in the PaddyPower kitty...have a feeling they wont be letting me down anytime soon.


Alex

A football related quick one..

Feeling guilty,

I haven't written here for ages, I know. Had plans to download many humourous pictures of X with anecdotes alongside. Seems that life got in the way. Sorry..

So whats new with me? Well, fair fortune has been smiling on me. My occasional flutter on the football has become a full on torrent of lucrative gambling success. During my constant search for ways of making a few extra quid, I came across the topcashback website, which in turn diverted to Paddy Power online. 'Bet a tenner, get 20 back' was the selling point and a couple of months ago, I was prepared to give it a try. Have always enjoyed checking out the form and one successful punt back in the day yielded enough 20 pound notes from the bookies that I couldnt shut my wallet! So, Ive been hooked ever since, and have enjoyed a long stream of luck. My online pot has now reached four figures (??!!), the prospect of which still stuns me.

It's been at a cost though. My mind has been full of football for the last couple of months now. The BBC videprinter has always close to hand and during a sunny Sunday afternoon I was glued to cricket updates on my phone whilst X paddled in a local outdoor swimming pool. Jeez, it's wonderful to cobble together a mental shopping list to spend the winnings on. But at the same time, it does your head in unlike anything else I've experienced in a while.

There is an end in sight to my football purgatory. After a flurry of group games where the footballing powers will prevail, it gets a bit more evenly contested in the knock out stages. I'll cash in my chips before then, and focus on spending my spoils.

It'll be nice to get my life back...

You can't beat a good stooze

Hi there,

Pics of Isle of Wight to come at some point soon. We all had a great time.. In the meantime here's something I wrote on that money making website, about one of my favourite.. money making projects..

Just like yourselves, I'm never closed to the posibilities of making a little extra money. Whilst dabbling into alternative revenue streams I discovered this one.

The term 'stoozing' comes from the Motley Fool UK website discussion boards in 2004. The principle, involving making a profit from 0% credit cards was known for many years previously. However a forum contributor named 'Stooz' was especially prolific at turning a profit. Apparently this term has now been absorbed into everyday conversation to such an extent that is considered for entry into the Oxford English Dictionary!

There are two separate methods of stoozing..

'Slow Stoozing'

: The most natural approach as it mirrors your monthly spending patterns. A 0% on purchases credit card (typically between 6 and 12months) and instant access high interest rate bank account are required. You make daily purchases as normal on the credit card and deposit a corresponding amount of money into the bank account. As no interest is charged, you pay off the balance when the 0% period is over and pocket the interest as your own. Easy!

This is the simplest approach involving minimal risk, but the dangers are there. As with usual credit card use, you need to pay off a minimum balance per month. Forget this and you'll be charged, of course! So, what you do is set up a monthly direct debit to pay this amount (normally about 3%). It is vital to make purchases as you normally would. Don't overspend as you will need to funnell a corresponding value into the bank account on a monthly basis. This account is called by afficiandos the 'stooz pot'. Discipline is required, as you don't want to have to find a pile of cash to pay off any difference in the two balances when the interest free period is over.

'Fast Stoozing'

. Quicker, but a little more care required. A similar principle to fast stoozing, but with a balance transfer credit card instead of the 0% purchases card. In the simplest terms, complete a balance transfer from the credit card to the bank bank account and trouser the interest when the outstanding balance needs to be cleared.
More complicated than a slow stooz, this one. At least two cards are needed, one needs to have a way of paying directly into a bank account. Gotta keep an eye on when those 0% rates end too, pay too late and you will get burned!

My experiences..

After a slightly wreckless adolescence and young adulthood, I now have my fingers in many moneymaking pies. I will often go out of my way to make/save a few extra pounds and it does all add up. My girlfriend paints me as a scrooge, but she's joking.. at least I think so. Those cashback credit cards have caught my eye, but getting £25 worth of food from Sainsbury's after spending a grand didnt seem a seductive return. Hearing about stoozing gave me a perverse thrill, how could I NOT be attracted to the idea of sticking it to the man, and making a few quid in the process?
So, I embarked on my first approach to secure some credit and start fast stoozing. I'd just closed the old Amex card after a record of immaculate use so assumed I'd be deemed worthy to lenders out there. And I was! Tesco took up my first application and offered me a two and a half grand balance (woo hoo!) The next stage was finding a bank account of merit to stash my stooz pot. Quite difficult with interest rates at long term lows, mind. You might get offered between 3 and 5% for tying your cash in long term, but stoozing requires getting your paws on the cash at a moments notice. So now ISAs or notice accounts for me then, gutted..High Street offerings tend to be a little stingy, and blatantly misrepresentative at times. Would you consider a monthly return of 1.05% worthy of the handle of 'sensible saver'? I found that one laughable, but the more generous options are little more alluring. So, I opted for the online option instead, Citibank was offering 3% plus change so offer to their website I went. Unfortunately, after receiving a welcoming pack of card and a deluge of security info I found this company uncontactable when it came to getting my account active! The bottom line is, you gotta ring Citibank up to get your bank account up and running, end of story.. and after holding on for a total of about 2 hours I just gave up. Surely, you'd expect a bank to welcome new business and make it as easy as possible for applicants to use their products? Whilst on hold listening to the stony indifference of their telephone system, I thought otherwise.And so, after vowing to never entertain Citibank again, I approached the next bank on my list. ING offer a little less bang for your buck (more of a whimper if I'm honest) but have instant access. I activated my new account by post, no problems there, and a week later was the happy recipient of my website login details.

Up and running...

And so I started to spend. Every time I took the family out for lunch I'd transfer the corresponding amount to my ING account. When I bought a chunky pair of Timberlands in December to stop slipping over on the pavement (remember winter?), I put a bit more into my stooz pot. The downside with a slow stooz is that you start small; the account balance increases at the rate you exploit your credit available so initial pickings are meagre. I've been pretty lucky that I could chuck in my savings, and also a balance I 'm shepharding for a close family member into the mix too. With this motley mix of credit and savings I was expecting to reap the benefit. Nonetheless. as I opened my ING account mid month my first monthly installment of free cash was.. £4... Bit deflating that...
It has got better in the months that followed: I'm halfway through a six month slow stooz with my Tesco card and the trickle in November has become a little more weighty this month. I won't be able to retire on the proceeds, but my Christmas spending will be minimal come the end of the year. Also I plan to set up other stoozes by applying for other cards, and channelling them into the pot too. One day soon, I plan my first fast stooze one day soon, that'll need a little more homework, but my initial efforts have been encouraging.

Sounds worth a go?

Stoozing has become a habit of sorts for me. If my friends and family would allow, I'd bore them endlessly with my anecdotes and strategy. Eyes will glaze over when chatting to the unconverted so the subject has not been raised. If you want to give it a go, bear in mind a couple of things first:

1. You need to be debt free. The Man will be getting 5% interest or more out of you, whereas you'd get less than 3% if the tables were turned. Pay off any liabilities first.
2. Credit scoring is a tricky business. Ratings agencies like Experian hold a copy of your file which will show how desirable you appear to lenders. Other factors will be taken into account when an application for credit is checked, but a thumbs down from Experian will take you out of the running straight away.
3. Sending out a flurry of applications may be counterproductive. Each will raise a search on your file which subsequent lenders will see. More searches may indicate desperation to credit providers who may be inclined to look elsewhere.

Stoozing 101?

A primer will be found online at stoozing.com. Have a look at the FAQs for guidance and the forum for instruction. The basic premise is simple, but advanced stoozing sounds bafflingly complex - check out some of the chat on the forums and you'll see..
To conclude, I can't recommend stoozing enough. If you have the hunger for making a few quid on the sly and an anoraky bent for organising stuff, this'll be right up your street.

'You're my Hero..'

My Valentines card from X. Who's heart wouldn't warm with the affection he sends my way.

I've jinxed this, undoubtedly, buuuuuttt...

It looks like my season long football bet may be on again!

Back in August I put my score a score down on my annual bet. Predict four promotions/relegations, with a score at stake.

I remember it clearly. My first two teams were clear (Portsmouth to go down, West Brom to go up) and at decent odds. Rooting around for two more options, the returns were not as generous. 'Sod it', I thought, 'I'll throw caution to the wind'. So, instead of putting my 20 quid on the favourites just being promoted from League 2 and the Blue Square Premier (Notts County and Luton) I said they'd both go up as champions.

The football season has had its' usual ebbs and flows. My first two bets have been dead on all season but the second two looked way off. I lamented my greed. Why had I chased the big payout when it looked like the two teams I had backed looked likely for playoffs at best? Still, you should never gamble more than you can afford, so I shrugged it off.

However.. things have changed. My two basket case teams have since flown up their prospective leagues and both sit second! Notts County sit 5 points back with a game in hand - they play the leaders Rochdale at home before the end of the season so can effectively close the gap! They score by the truckload at home but not away. Luton have just beaten leaders Stevenage away, but are two points behind but have played a game more.

Keep your fingers crossed for me..

Feeling glum today..

Writing down a few thoughts from work here,

Its so tedious at the moment as my muse is away. Been consoling myself by writing reviews on ciao.co.uk (will include a few more for your pleasure soon) and monitoring my financial status. Making plans to try to improve things further.

Ellen and I really are poles apart. She gets her pleasure from the creature comforts in life. Little treats give her enormous pleasure, be they chocolate or the latest episode of 'Brothers and Sisters'. I on the other hand seem to have an infatuation for financial security. There are considerable lengths that I can resort to in order to make or save a few quid. Its funny, being single, I never really thought about it. But Ellen has given me the insight to realise the way I am.
Some of this has been rubbing off on Xander too. He has seen my collection of silver and gold bullion 'my treasure' and now has a couple of pounds to call his own. Hopefully it won't become his raison d'etre but I guess sensible financial stewardship is a good habit to pick up from an early age, right? I look forward to discussing money matters with him at a later date... Sad but true I guess, need another hobby besides tracking the price of silver I reckon...


Have been doing little in the way of exercise in the last couple of weeks so feel very tetchy and pent up right now. The flood of serotonin after exercise will cure that, but a comment from one of visitors to the gym really stuck with me. She said 'you're used to speaking to children arent you?'. I've always been a bit sensitive to the way people regard me, but this has driven me into a bit of a mini crisis. Am I communicating with people on the same level as I do with Xander??? My dream would be to be a polished, confident communicator who can hold any audience in my thrall. If I'm talking to folks in the same way I do to the little dude in my life, there's problems!!

Anyway, if you two want to be thrifty like me (God help you!), check out the Topcashback website. You get free money back when you spend it, which is nice.

My favourite little devil turns five..

Great day yesterday. X had his buddies around for munchies and bouncy castle action. Now we're recovering from the sugary excesses that party food can cause. Full on hangovers all round I reckon.

Xander changed into his 'lounge-wear' halfway through the party

Spent the morning getting the garden in order, putting up the awning, cutting back sharp pointy bushes out of the way at eye-level. All that kind of stuff.. X had a fine old time, he was pestering us for cakes from about 9am and proceeded to change into his pyjamas half way through the day (?!!). The presents were a pretty special haul (did I do as well when I was five??!), but I'm saving what I believe to be the best one for his birthday on Tuesday. A gift which will be a fusion of two of the most important things in his world (bar his Mummy, of course): Spongebob and Lego.

We'll be finding the pieces in furniture and the cat's food bowl for weeks, but it'll be worth it, I hope..

Responsibility is...

.. telling a young child to take their shoes of as they race into the house...

They ignore you, of course...

Next weekend is X's fifth birthday party. I'm on gardening detail today to clear a space for the bouncy castle which is due to arrive Saturday morning. Festivities start from 2. Sure we'll be up from about 7am getting things ready.. its never that simple, is it?

Things have started to move on the miscarriage front. Sporadically anyway. Ellen seems to be faring well, but had a very hard day Friday. She told me about a conception regimen called 'egg meets sperm' or something like that, which is supposed to be the perfect way of "getting back on the bike" (..know what I mean!!!!???). The regularity of the activity sounds a little bit too draining for me.. I don't come to bed for toning and cardio.. that's what the gym is for, surely!!??

A roller coaster of sorts..it's not over yet..

I have a feeling that Ill be blogging about this for a while to come..

Some of people who know me may be aware, others not. After a harrowing ectopic pregnancy in August last year, Ellen and I had been trying for a child. Following the initial panic last summer, Id come round to the idea of giving my parents the good news. Sadly, it all culminated in a late night visit to A&E for Ellen which I to my shame missed. Even now I have trouble forgiving myself that....

Anyway, fast forward to last winter and this time we're actually trying to conceive. She buys some of those pregnancy monitoring sticks to pee on and wows me with all the science involved. I provide the very willing support.. if you know what I'm saying..

There's some false starts as the New Year begins. E presents me with different numbered pee sticks and explains in detail what is happening with them: 'the indicator line is too vague on that one' 'it took to long to appear on this one'.. I nod my head in what hopefully looks like sagely understanding...

However during our Spring half term trip to the Isle of Wight there is some hope. She disappears to the toilet at 4am for a worryingly long period of time before returning to bed. Success! The indicator line appears where it should, and in the right time period. Ellen does a little shimmy of joy lying next to me and we both fall asleep again.

And so it goes. E thrills about her changing appearance, teaches me (and recently Xander) a little about the miracle of pregnancy. Being a bloke, its the mystery of mysteries to me. I watch as she digs out the maternity clothes and the baby bump band (holds it safely in place, you see) and we discuss baby names and due dates. We had the first couple of scans in the last two weeks which showed little. That concerned E, but senior sister Lee put her mind at rest "We never see anything after 4 or 5 weeks anyway". The bottom line is that nothing is showing in Ellen's fallopian tubes so we are both relieved. Still, with the absence of anything on screen, a viable pregnancy cannot be ruled in.

We have the blood tests to focus on though, once again Ellen explains the science to me... I pick up a smattering. The hormone levels are supposed to increase 66-100% every 48 hours, and initially they hit the lower end of the scale. They tail off to 40% and we lose heart, they rise back to 70% and it seems we're back in business! According to Ellen's research (she'll make an expert one day) its not that unusual to see a low hormone count, providing it eventually picks up again all hope isn't lost.

Last Wednesday E visited Kingston hospital for another scan. It was unclear but an indisctinct something could be seen in the womb. She was thrilled and I couldnt help but have her enthusiasm rub off onto me. The following Monday would be the clincher, a scan and blood test was planned and hopefully we'd see little junior with some clarity. I held E's hand and screwed up my eyes looking at the computer screen whilst the consultant manipulated the pregnancy scanner, we saw.. near enough exactly what we'd seen before. The indisctinct something was still an indistinct something, it seemed development had ground to a sudden halt. The blood test results were equally disappointing, according to Ellen's maths she expected them to rise 4000% or so, they rose just 70%. We left the hospital feeling broken, for Ellen this hadnt been entirely unexpected, her symptoms had seemly been on the wane she later told me. But I was feeling bereft.

So now we wait to see what goes down. We're pretty sure the foetus is in the right place, its just failing. The docs were threatening to do some harrowing stuff to Ellen to find out what is going on, but thankfully have relented. In the meantime we wait to see how things play out. She has further scans and blood tests to see how the hormone levels wind down. Seems like we'll always be looking at the numbers, watching their descent till the inevitable occurs. The idea of a miscarriage sounds like the most terrifying experience a hopeful mother to be can go through. I can only speculate and give E as much support as I can when it does.

Isle of Wight trip - February half term 2010

The year follows the academic format for me again nowadays. It'll do even more in future. Here are some of the pics I took whilst we we're over there.

Bright sunshine follows a downpour, and of course a rainbow results. The colours were bright and wondrous and I couldnt take my eyes of it. Off the coast of Sandown beach.

Coastal defences between Bonchurch and Ventnor - like a pile of giant Risk pieces awaiting play.


Hire yourself a camper van. The VWs form a lurid line alongside the main road into Shanklin

Innncominggggg!!!! ;)

Xander in the electric chair..