Isle of Wight trip - February half term 2010

The year follows the academic format for me again nowadays. It'll do even more in future. Here are some of the pics I took whilst we we're over there.

Bright sunshine follows a downpour, and of course a rainbow results. The colours were bright and wondrous and I couldnt take my eyes of it. Off the coast of Sandown beach.

Coastal defences between Bonchurch and Ventnor - like a pile of giant Risk pieces awaiting play.


Hire yourself a camper van. The VWs form a lurid line alongside the main road into Shanklin

Innncominggggg!!!! ;)

Xander in the electric chair..

A very quick visit to my bachelor pad

Off on holiday next week. A few bracing days on the Isle of Wight which'll be just what I need.

Im moving out of my old place in May, but it seems more unvisited and attic-like each time I visit. One of my housemates is a Jehovas witness, Alissa, has got engaged to a young man of her faith. It makes me chuckle as he's a fully fledged middle aged dude with impeccable manners. However, he also just happens to have the most Gangsta-like gold Golf I've ever seen!

Photos to come, I need to share some pics from my phone soon for any one interested.

Have a top weekend


Alex

Review of Crank.. one for Mark

I am a recent convert to the Jason Statham bandwagon and this film is the reason why. Stubbly, balding and beetle-browed, he aint no matinee idol. But here he has carved out a handy little niche as an unconventional action man. 'Crank' stands out as being unique in the genre and is head and shoulders among Statham's other offerings.

Hard Night?

Jason Statham plays Chev Chelios, a freelance hitman who awakes in his home with a splintering headache. What transpired was that Chev has been set up, apparently the powers that be want him dead, and leave a calling card in the form of a video disk of one of his gloating acquaintances, Verona (played by Jose Cantillo). Our hero watches in horror as on screen he is injected with the 'Beijing cocktail'. This drug works in a nifty manner, if Chelios's heart rate drops below a certain level, he dies. 'Speed' without the bus if you will. Judging from Verona's demeanour in this macabre little home movie it'll only be a matter of time before Chev's ticker stops ticking and he drops down dead.. he is VERY mistaken...And with that, our hero is off. He wants to get an antidote, he wants to make it straight with his girl, but most of all, he wants revenge. What follows is the most implausable adrenaline fueled rampage in which Chelios features as a one man crime wave of wreckless driving, thievery, lewdness and murder which you will not see anywhere else. 'Crank' is reminiscent to one of Arnie's action movies of the mid/late 80s. The hero is a human wrecking ball who leaves none of his adversaries standing and despite facing great adversity seems impermeable throughout.

No sense left ungratified

It's incredibly silly. Watching Statham balancing naked save a hospital gown atop a speeding motorbike to the tune of Nilsson's 'Everyone's Talking' is breathtaking in its inappropriateness. The movie has countless 'What the hell is going on?' moments which some people will find tremendously irritating or entertaining. In his search for heart racing highs Chelios marches into a hospital, fends off 3 cops in a search for synthetic adreniline to keep his ticker ticking. He confronts a hospital worker and calmly demands the terrified medic 'juices' him with a heart defibrillator. The wreckless disregard for personal safety of the main character will be refreshing to some, but moronic to others.The whole film is shot in a suitable relentless style, loads of cutting, loads of cameras stuck in faces, loads of continuous movement. Directors Neveldine and Taylor have a music video and commericial backgrounds and the feel of the film certainly reflects that. The action is certainly aimed at a younger generation, more mature audiences may be turned off by the video game-esque touches in the credits and the Google Maps scene decents. In fact the kitchen sink is thrown at the viewer during an opening 40mins of guns, drugs, casual violence and relentless movement which you'll either be enthralled by or will get bored of very quickly. The slowdown in pace for a second act is inevitable, but a disappointment whereas the finale is the full sensory explosion you'd expect.
By nature of the story, the rest of the cast are simply passengers on Chelios' trip. Amy Smart plays girlfriend Eve, who's only role is to make out hero's mission harder. She knows Chelios as a computer programmer not freelance contract killer (seriously??!!) and he wants to set the record straight. Trouble is she is also a ditsy piece of work who those chasing Chev also want to kill to due to her association with him! In short she is just baggage in the quest for revenge, and provides an ingenious oppurtunity for a cardio workout on the streets of Chinatown (if you've seen it, you'll know what I mean)...The rest of the cast serve as target practice for Chelios and his frenetic attentions. Sidekick Kaylo (Efren Ramirez: Pedro in Napoleon Dynamite of all things!) points our hero in the right direction before his messy demise. The other characters are either hassled out the way or butchered in increasingly bloody and emphatic ways. No one is spared the wrath of Chev, some of the slayings are a little formulaic (shootout in deserted warehouse anyone?) but the demise of the bloke who caused all the problems in the first place is breathtaking in its' creativity.

To conclude..

If you are able to take the antics of Chev Chelios with a pinch of salt, you may find yourself entertained by 'Crank'. It is obviously aimed at a young male market with all the thrash metal montages of Stathams gurning head through gunfights and kamikazee encounters. This movie is Grand Theft Auto made into celluloid: Statham here certainly has a similar sense of indestructability, he faces down guns, jumps off helicopters and takes large amounts of stimulatants without seemingly breaking a sweat. So just like any Steven Segal flick then, right? Well actually, no. Statham carries this movie on his massive brooding shoulders and throws himself into the Chelios role like a man jumping out of a window to escape a building collapse. The film has a surreal wit of snappy dialogue and unexpected touches which will also appeal to those who AREN'T in the throes of ADD. For example:

Chelios: [on a quest for hospital ephedrine to keep his heart pumping]_I'm looking for something.. something beginning with E...
Chemist:... England?

Oscar Wilde certainly won't be spinning in his grave with the competition, but it's these touches and Statham's stubbly, baldy presence which kept me royally entertained here. Watch him knock back energy drinks like water and empty packets of energy tablets into his enormous steam shovel mouth will stick with me for a long time...

My Muse

Its funny what people can do to you.

I've worked for The Man for nearly 4 years now (!?!?!). In my work life Ive come across alot of people. Some I've liked, some I haven't, some have left me feeling indifferent, some whose company I have enjoyed. Just one has had a real, lasting affect on me. Dan is a lad in his late twenties, he has a geezer about town swagger which belies a discerning soft centre. He is the only person who has made me cry with laughter at work. I remember the moment well, Dan had been out for a couple of beers one lunchtime and was in an incredibly playful mood. I just broke with his banter, fell to my knees and just couldnt contain the tears and snorts of laughter.

I seem to bring something out in him. He is a model employee in my absense, but turns into a comedy twitching, slavering lech when I am present. Imagine Danny Dyer meets Dorian Gray - the swagger is there, all tied in with a certain racy joie de vivre. He gleefully explains in a booming voice his admiration for certain cultural figures ranging from the Marquis De Sade to Ron Jeremy across the whole office. This is a guy who accidentally left a message on a woman's answerphone about smoking dope (in a joke conversation, mind), he got called up to the Boss Lady.. and got off with just a slapped wrist. Dan is our office golden boy here, and makes the most of it. He's a ray of lascivious sunshine amongst all the clouds of grousing and moaning.

He's not a 2D cardboard cutout South London lad about town, though. Dan has some deeper touches that make him stand out from the crowd. He is a profound dude who has a taste for the some of the spiritual things in life too and obviously dotes over his family. This is all surrounded by a tough outer layer but makes him the distinctive human being he is.

The funny thing is how much he has rubbed off on me. The playful, saucy side of me gets an airing alot more often than it used to - which is liberating but can also get one into trouble..

But that's a story for another day...