In these newly straitened times

.. you've gotta pay the bills in increasingly creative ways.

All my previous little indulgences seem like grand extravagances nowadays. For instance, when was the last time I had a night out? The idea of dropping fifty notes to cover expenses scares the cr*p out of me these days. As well as the fact I'd be slurring after three pints these days.. of course..

That's ones of the reasons I'm back on facebook. If I can't tolerate/sustain a social life like I used to, I reckon it can't hurt to start recirculating again. It'd be great to catch up with folks in real life too - and to those interested readers (you know who you are) I've been missing chatting and mean to flag you down in real life soon.

So anyway, back to creative financing. I've been contriving to make my money stretch that much further than it used to. Matched betting is still in full affect and I'm looking to make some tentative steps on eBay when the opportunity arises. Add a hearty dose of thrift and I'm almost in Little House on The Prairie mode. No trapping dinner or pickling what comes out of the garden yet, but 2012 has been a year with little spare money to put aside...

That's ok though. I take my pleasures where I can, I work hard - I aim to look after my folks as much as possible and have a beautiful new girl to dote over. By the way, I've entered D into The Sun's beautiful baby contest which will run in November - will update you with developments should they arise.

Anyway, that's your lot. Hope you're all doing well.

A. 

From the mouths of babes

Just a quick one, as my life is alot busier than it used to be.

Got a spare bit of time up in the Man Cave putting together the last reports for my kiddies at work. Yes, I write reports now. I'm that figure of authority who some kids call in hushed tones "teacher". 

They're a lovely bunch and I'm becoming attuned to their failures and successes already. I feel their pain when they're sad or unwell and their joy when something makes them happy. I've realised how I miss the flights of fancy of the young, X's frivolity has been replaced by a realism and reassurance which is beyond his years and little D is a little way from saying anything really interesting yet..

So my children are a new source of wonder. They mangle the language, revelling in the fusion of the everyday and bodily functions. However a few nuggets do sneak out, like diamonds in the coalface of childhood wisdom. My favourite was from 'B'; a lively boy with a taste for being chased around outside and dancing to the music of Michael Jackson. "Next time we go outside Alex, you have to be a zombie Michael Jackson" he told me one morning. 

Hey kids, do you really want me to chase you? 

That one will be hard to beat, but I'm sure more will come in due course.

On nappies, and talking like a wrestler.

They've let me loose properly on the kids now.. and it's been fun!

I'd been dreading the nappy changing. The thought of cleaning up after some poor child with gastric flu scared the living daylights out of me. I imagined the worst case scenario of clearing up tidal waves of sh*t armed with only a pair of rubber gloves and some wet wipes..like some sort of fecal 'Perfect Storm'. Now there's an analogy for you to chew over..

To be honest, it hasn't been that bad so far. In fact little D's liquidy pesto specials have been a lot more disturbing than anything my kids have served up so far. Friday just gone I clocked a ripe pong coming from one of the boys and thought "Oh oh. This will be a good one". Think lakes of farmyard slurry spread over the fields. It kinda smelt like that. 

Imagine my surprise when I unwrapped the little blighter's nappy and observed a little offering of what looked like play-dough. Smooth...even earth tones... pretty inoffensive really.  Cleaned up a treat too! 

In other news, I keep catching myself speaking in the third person at work. It make's good sense as the kids are clear as to whom I'm talking about. However should it creep into home life I'll start feeling like Hulk Hogan

Clear up the book corner for the Hulkster, kids. OOOOOH YEAHHHH!