Funerals and parenting dilemmas

This was the week of the funeral. I dressed up in my (remaining) smart gear and took the train to Hoxton to pay my respects.

The funeral itself was in Hackney, but I made time to stroll through the neighbourhood beforehand. And what a cool place Hoxton is! [I say this with my tongue fixed firmly within my cheek]. I'm not one for the cutting edge and zeitgeist-y so alot of E9 makes me wince. You're somewhere trendy when marketeers use the word 'space'...in more places than you expect. A blackboard outside the local caff advertises it as a 'space for [insert aspirational demographic here]'. I passed an estate agent promising to find 'a solution to your personal space needs'.. or something like that. In a city teaming with 7 million it seems the thing people are after is an escape from one another - something I cannot live without...

Poor J looked lost at the service. He's a guy who doesn't shows his feelings much so when I heard his voice crack during the eulogy my heart nearly broke. J i. I didn't get the chance to pay my respects personally as domestic duties called, so after exchanging small talk with J's other old buddies I headed home. Before doing so I had a revelation: 'Look at us, we're all grown up'. Our social get togethers have morphed from A-Level result celebrations, into travelling farewells, into weddings to more sombre occasions nowadays. As a group we'd grown up together and now here we stood sporting laughter lines and wearing business attire. The last two decades have crept up on us pretty quick it seems.

In home news, little D continues to grow and assert herself. Music no longer calms this savage beast, it seems. Our classical music CD no longer stops D's frustrated shrieks, she now sounds like a seagull being strangled when something upsets her. I marvel at the person she is becoming, assertive and exceptionally strong willed, D reminds me more of her aunt and nanny than her own daddy nowadays. 

Here's the rub though. Our domestic watchword now is 'DO NOT ANTAGONISE THE BABY'. My main job is to run interference to ensure such things do not happen. And it's a energy sapping job too! X loves his little sister and he howls and warbles along with her. However he never fails to either over-energise or piss her off! His baby carrying style reminds me of someone toting about a bag of spuds and that makes me wince even more. I don't want to spend my time telling X 'don't do that!' when he is playing with Diz as he'll start disliking me very quickly. Family life is like a minefield, you spend your time concentrating on one stretch of ground but always need to be mindful of explosions from elsewhere!   

  

From behind the Pushchair

Diz and her mohawk stylee - September 2013

I now think of Diz as 'Her Ladyship'. She has an increasingly imperious style that hints she is born to higher things. When we go out for a morning roll, I marvel at the way she casts things from her pushchair. Socks, toys, food all get cast aside with a regal, wristy flick. The other day her favourite duck was thrown into a busy road, I had to wait several minutes to fetch it safely. The 'you took your bloody time' look which she shot me on retrieval was particularly priceless....

Little kids have a sense of entitlement which make you wonder. But you still cant help but love them!

More thoughts on the IOW

The more I think about it, the more the pros seem to add up. Being one of the eight and a half million people crammed into this part of the world feels frankly.. crowded. After a week away, you cross the Solent and feel the pace of life again. It's quicker, more frenetic. Lots of little ants scurrying around doing their duties. 

It's a shame that we need to go on holiday to draw breath and appreciate life for what it really is. Something to be enjoyed in the moment. Not a daily scrabble through the internal to-do list of life: Get up, eat, sh*t, shave go to work and repeat. There has to be a better way of living than that, surely?

Well, I might be over thoughtful, certainly. But the pull of Vectis is strong at the moment. It feels a right time to take the step. To gather our stuff and take it somewhere special. Here is where E and I differ on our possessions, I can offload things with miminal hassle. Being well travelled, she puts a lot more stock in her belongs and what they mean to her. I resist the temptation to bully her into clearing her CD collection and selling it on Music Magpie ('You don't listen to them anymore!' I would say. 'They'd raise plenty of cash for our move too!') I've learnt her thinking is less linear than my own. We get to the same decisions though, E in a slightly more circuitous manner than myself!

I plan to break the news to Mum today, I've been dreading that. Most people could deal with a train and ferry crossing to visit family, a couple of hours, max. She sometimes struggles to drive 10 miles up to see us. Her reaction will be, how can I put it? Interesting...

In other news a very good friend (J) lost his girlfriend of 7 years last month. I've been meaning to note down my thoughts on this for a while. We met up in town the day day before she passed away and my friend seemed so contented. It seemed that she completed him, and following a tipsy phone conversation with his missus, I discovered how much he completed her.  I don't think my buddy reads this, but on the off- chance he does, I'd like to say how he's not far from my thoughts. J and I go back twenty years and I've seen him grow. We've shared good times and I was so thrilled he could be at our wedding day this summer. When your family appears and you settle down, there isn't the time to dedicate to friends. They get less attention than they deserve which is such a  shame. 

That's why I write this blog, frankly. So I can let you know what's going on. I feel privileged when I hear how much satisfaction you readers get when you tell me (you know who you are!) Pity there isn't a similar window on your lives too. And no, I don't count facebook - that insidious ad-fest tells me nothing of insight -  only the domestic travails of acquaintances and the fact that I need to buy an I-Phone. Not interested..

Anyway, that's enough from me. On a lighter note, I'll need to rename the blog. The Man Cave is now more and a new adventure awaits. Any ideas?

A.

A.

We're packing it in for the Isle Of Wight!

The Isle of Wight was a tonic. I feel rested and recharged, but quite depressed to be back in all honesty. Here's a couple of pics

Our flat was airy, simple but with plenty of stunning views!

The IOW has lots of cliffs. You spend time climbing plenty of these..

I don't recall seeing a sunset so vibrant as we did during our stay. The reds, oranges, mauves, turquoises were a marvel to look at. Obviously the photos never do things justice, natch.

The place is beautiful, the pace of life is something I could really do with right now. London seems cramped and hectic in comparison, everyone in a frantic rush getting to where the need to be. I get the impression the idea of moving has been in E's mind for a while before she ambushed me with it. My initial reaction was 'No!!!' but the more I chew over the idea the more it appeals.

More to come on this in the next few weeks. I'll be getting my thoughts in order so we can plan properly. I think E wants to move on the next ferry crossing, and looking at our pokey little house I cant entirely disagree with her!

A.