Surrealist or Porn Star?!

Was doing a spring clean today. Sorting out some of stuff from our last Germany trip, I came across a poster advertising a Salvador Dali exhibition in Berlin.

It reminded me of a fact I picked up on a previous visit. German advertising posters often seem just the slightest bit surreal or inappropriate, off centre enough to make me think 'What was the PR department saying, here?'

Case in point above. Salvador Dali or Ron Jeremy? What do you reckon?

It's the end of the world as we know it..

A striking sight to see.. but a potential inconvenience to your day, perhaps?

I see what he did there!

Yeah, Lars Von Trier's film is all about feeling miserable: a great big blue planetoid hanging serenely over the planet before crashing down and [probably] killing us all.. lots of people at a wedding party struggling with depression, desperation and barely supressed panic. The first act finishes with the relief of the guests being able to leave the wedding reception after a particularly awkward day. The second with the viewers' relief at Melancholia smashing into the ground and vaporising the remaining protagonists of the movie.

Despite this fact I easily rate Melancholia as one of the top five films I've seen so far this year. It easily runs 30mins too long, has some clunky dialogue and wooden characters but stimulated an emotional response in me unlike 90% of the films I have ever seen. When the credits rolled on 'Inception' I mentally shrugged my shoulders and thought "Ok, whats for dinner?". When 'Melancholia' ended I couldn't stand up for several minutes and had to mentally gather my thoughts from the far corners to which they had been scattered. I always think a film should get you thinking, it should be floating in the recesses of your mind for several days after. LVT certainly achieved this - he was part psychiatric outpatient, part showman in his promotion which really got interest up for this movie's release. But the substance of the film itself deserves the praise it has received. Melancholia looks stunning, from the first few minutes of Kirsten Dunst's face framed by falling birds behind, you realise you're viewing something distinctive. Amongst other things, the POV shots of the planet gradually looming, retreating and coming back [spoiler, hah!] give the film a wonderfully claustrophobic nature. It's clear that there is no escape, which makes you sympathise for the characters even more...

Funnily enough, I didnt feel for Dunst in this film. Apparently it is a breakout role for her (boobs out = break out?), but I'm not so sure. Once again, it's Charlotte Gainsbourg who seems to bare all for her craft, this time not so literally. She runs through the full range of emotions, culminating with the most terrible (the alternative definition of 'terrible' here) look of despair I think I've ever seen etched on somebody's face - genuine or otherwise..

Meanwhile the rest of the cast serve as filler, Kiefer Sutherland interestingly delivers like he's gargling gravel and the rest flitter in and out of view with little consequence. The sisters are the stars of this drama, as well as the big blue planet which makes a hell of impact on plot developments at the climax of the film..

..pardon the pun...

A.

A snooze within a snooze within a snooze..

This week the movie Inception hit my letterbox courtesy of the nice people at Lovefilm.

And what a load of overblown nonsense it is! I've seen several of director Christopher Nolan's offerings and frankly, have not been that thrilled by any of them.

Don't get me wrong, the ideas which come out of his films are worthy and meaty enough to get your teeth into. The visuals are seamless and stunning too - Inception is a perfect example of this. However, halfway through the second hour with no third act yet in sight the attention cannot help but wander. Personally, I lost any attachment with the characters involved by the hotel scene. I never get tired of the Matrix style wall and ceiling running when its done well, plus Arthur's ingenuity to pull the good guys all out of the dream [within a dream..within a dream] was wonderfully conceived. It's just the introspection and torment of the main character, his missus and the guy they were trying to con just bored the hell out of me!

Just like Memento, Inception has been praised by the fanboys to the heavens. For me its similar in being an incredibly well crafted story but (on the minus side) is just as ponderous in its' beard stroking seriousness. The tone is serious, cold and logical, which in small doses I can tolerate.

Two and a half hours of this kind of stuff, no matter how well crafted will always put me to sleep.

A.

JCB Joyride: Cops chase down stolen forklift

Homebrew and bump news

So, in these straitened times, I've taken to producing my own ale. The fermentation kit remained untouched in the front room till a couple of weeks ago, when I finally plucked up the courage to get brewing.

After three days of fermentation, the hose came out and I started filling up the empty pop bottles stored for such an occasion. The result is a shelf of bottles full of an ominous dark brown liquid akin to Guiness. The stuff is supposed to clear in two weeks, but I have my doubts.

Right now, it's heavy, intoxicating (had to sample it, of course!) and so thick you could probably cut it with a knife.... I await with excitement to see how it turns out, but right now it's so potent it could probably be used for clearing out drains...

With regards to the second part of the post title today, yeah you read that right. "Bump". E is with child, and a very active little creature it is. Gender scan was on Friday, and if all goes to plan, we'll be bringing a girl into the world come early Spring next year!!!

When only a stiff drink or Rammstein will do..

Ever have one of those days when you feel the world conspiring against you?

Man, I did on Thursday. The cherry on the top of my festering cake of angst was some locked gates leading into Bushy Park. After a 2 hour journey home from work, my cut through was closed as it was deer culling season!

Picture the scene: 11pm and I'm stomping my way round the edge of the park, metaphorical storm cloud over my head with only the night buses for company.

It's at that point when a beer will help. All I could do was reach for my trusty MP3 player, dial up Rammstein and turned the volume up to 11 to relieve my frustrations. And believe me, it helped!

Check out 'Ich Tu dir weh" from their last album: bet the LED in the mouth is a great conversation starter down the pub. Handy if you lost your keys in the car park after, too!

A.

Thoughts on Jamaicans runners and my tune collection

Simply Irresistible.. if you want to sell his music online, that is!

Have just been watching the Jamaican sprinters beating the best in South Korea. Had to view the final several times in order to appreciate the talent Usain Bolt is. You gotta marvel at the rate he and Yohan Blake tore up the track in the last 200m. The camera struggles to keep up with Bolt over the last 50 and it looks like he struggles to slow himself down too once he's won! The guy is just extraordinary.

Reminds me of something from my childhood. Did a washed up Ben Johnson end up racing horses over 100m in the 80s or something? Maybe my memory fails me but I seem to recollect the juiced up Canadian taking on a stallion over a sprint.. and winning!

Anyway. With my mind on upcoming things in 2012, we're in the process of having a clear out. I turned my mind to my CD collection which since being downloaded onto my PC, has just sat in a box taking up space. All is not lost though. Courtesy of Music Magpie I intend to turn my stash in to money and get rid of it! What you do is enter the bar code into the website (recognised 2 out of every 3 of mine) and Music Magpie quotes you a price. They send you the insured container for post and apparently you get a cheque soon after. Happy Days!

Peeling the sale stickers off CD cases gives you time to ponder whilst you do the data entry necessary. First thing I realised was the amount of disposable income was floating around back in my late teens. Hundreds and hundreds of pounds went through my hands to create the music collection taking up space on my shelves today. Secondly was the fact that all the albums which gave me my (admittedly sparse) cool music cred are seemingly worth F*** A** today. The Trance and D'n'B collections which made me feel like the discerning music beard stroker back in '96 and '97 are worth 30p a pop nowadays. Yes, 30p! Whereas Best of Dire Straits weighs in at a hefty £1.28 in comparison. It seems popular and MOR = a bigger pile of cash in return...

The aspirational late teen would be mortified by that. Maybe I should've stuck with Robert Palmer and the like instead, I'd be sitting on a few more quid today, I reckon!