The little things you notice..

Believe it or not, you're life goes even quicker when you stick another kid in the middle of it!

Little D will be 5 months old on 28th of July. She has gone from helpless marsupial baby to chunky Mothercare poster-girl. The gummy grins are now accompanied by full on chuckles and her own special brand of 'conversation'. She's turning into a very chatty little lady.

It's been a joy to see her start gaining control of her arms and legs. D regards her hands with a particular species of interest before (most of the time) successfully sticking them in her mouth. Looks like teething is on the way, she drools, she blows raspberries and attacks teething toys/my finger/the cat with an unsettling keenness... still, a single smile can make my day regardless of circumstances..

In other news my life is mostly a tired haze. We take care of the little ones in life as much as we can, support each other and move on to the following day. I half joked to X how I was measuring my life in intervals between shows on CBeebees and that made him chuckle. Kind of true though, you realise how important the role telly has in keeping you sane when you have a four month old - little D loves Iggle Piggle and co. She stays transfixed for minutes at a time which gives me the time to rush into the kitchen to get my next cup of coffee....

To me, some of the shows are pretty disturbing. I spotted Mr Tumble the other week, a frankly disturbing TV clown who reminded me of Pennywise out of Stephen King's 'IT'. 

Tumble or Pennywise?

I will never look at childrens' entertainers the same way again, I swear.

I'm still punctuating my awake hours with working for The Man. The most unedifying part of my time, I can tell you. Luckily my muse is still around and he keeps me in good spirits, Dan is now 31 and fills my days with moments of bawdy humour, chat about Alex Jones and regular shoulder massages (he's good too!). I can tell how good his weekend has been by how much he slumps in his chair in the office come Monday morning. His facial skin tone also gives a clue, porkpie meat tinted and a light sheen to it means maximum enjoyment. 

When you start comparing your child to others..

In simplest terms, I'll admit to being the doting father. Hell, my little girl is cute.

It's only been four months, but already some of her personality is starting to shine through. I is a mellow, easy going child in temperament so different from other babies I see. We had the NCT meeting last weekend, it was a chance for the Mums to get swap stories and the Dads to how doting they were with their kids. Of the four babies on show there were two alert little girls, as cute as woodland animals from any Disney movie, little I and another girl who looked like a cross between Bob Hoskins and a Russian Mobster... yes a girl... she sounded like a raven too.. poor little thing. 

I find myself wondering: how will she compare to her peers at nursery age? Unlike her big bro who will take on the world head first (and probably beat it!), she is a delicate little flower who we'll need to support as much as we can. I've spent the last four years concerned about the mental well-being of X and now it's time to focus on my own daughter too. Let's face it, you give them all the love and happy times you can (X and I get plenty), what they do with it is up to them.

Kissy Face Dizzy

My thoughts on nappy changing..

A revelation came to me a few days ago. I was compelled to share it with you. 


Coming to terms with nappy change is like learning to roll up a spliff... 


Now, stop scoffing and I'll explain further... 

When baby first arrives you regard it like a ticking bomb, any prod or poke might set it off. 

After a few days, you start getting used to this little life you are suddenly responsible for. Taking care of junior's needs becomes a priority and as someone said "those nappies won't change themselves, y'know" 

Anyway, to start you find a nice flat surface, somewhere quiet where you won't be distracted. You carefully position all the tools of the trade within arms reach, and there are some odd similarities 


This: 

replaces this: 

Meanwhile these: 

 replace these:

..and are alot more difficult to store in your jacket pocket!

You treat your cargo with same respect, making sure nothing slips out from between your fingers and hits the floor. Of course retrieving a little spilt baccie from the floor is less of a big deal than retrieving a baby! 

In both cases it's all about tightness, the aesthetic pleasure of a nice, tightly rolled joint is the same as your first tightly attached nappy. The disappointment of a baggy nappy is the same as a loose, sagging joint, except this time the baby shares the disappointment too. 

I haven't reached the proficient level yet, hopefully one day I'll be able to do the nappies like some of my old student buddies used to skin up. Of course I wouldn't be able to do it in a dark field, at 1o'clock in the morning in the middle of a gale (one of my toking buddies did this, you know who you are, and I'm still impressed nearly 20 years on), but one day I hope to make the job pretty seamless for all concerned. 

On an related note: once you mastered the rolling basics as a teen, there was an option to graduate onto something a little more advanced. Your standard smoke could be shaped into tulips, your T bars and all the other crazy stuff that tokers with too much time on their hands have come up with. 

This makes me think, is it the same with nappy changing????!! 

Just a thought...... 

A.

Dizzy in the tub

The old cliches about signs of the Zodiac are there for a reason. She's a Pisces and can't get enough of the water!

A.

Dizzy and her lovely little head

So its June already (!!??). Startling to think we're nearly at the halfway point for twenty-twelve already. For me, it's been a monumental year.. obviously.. Little Miss (above) is now 3 months old and does a fine line in pouty lower lips and Hello Kitty product placement.

I'm thrilled she has such a finely shaped skull unlike her troll-like papa. I'm helpless to resist running my fingers over the top of her lovely little head. It reminds me of a point during my single days, years back. On my daily commute I would pass the students attending our local uni. One girl who I'd pass had the most perfectly shaped  bonce which would drive me to distraction. For some irrational reason, I just found it fascinating! Visions of me running my hands over her shaven head like Mystic Meg would run through my head as I passed her in the street.... 

If she'd known. I'm sure I'd seen alot less of her...

In other news I'm taking on our overgrown back garden. It's a cross between bucolic meadow and knee deep Jurassic woodland. Even the local cats no longer dare to visit, fearing what lies in wait to ambush them, probably. The lawnmower I've picked up from Argos hopefully has the power to take on what I've left to grow over the last year due to obvious reasons. With the extended weekend thanks to the Jubilee (gawd bless you Ma'am), I plan to don my gardening gauntlets as soon as the sun comes out.

A.

The internet never forgets..

Never write tired, unless you have to. I've been guilty of neglecting MFTMK and now try to make amends. Lack of sleep be damned!

As I've now landed myself something office-related to occupy my hours, I've got to squeeze all daily tasks into an even short period of time. All those 'to do's' are now written in my trusty jotter and I try to get them done when I can... the lot of a young family I guess, I get to my blog when everyone else has gone to bed and often stumble into bed soon after.

Anyway one of the most prominent to-do's was finally ticked off this weekend. We've finally liberated my mother from the clutches of her feckless husband! For years she has moaned about his shortcomings, yet fear has kept her stuck in his clutches. The family was resigned to this continuing, my sister and I exchanged many words of exasperation and anger. Mine more symphathetic than hers' yet just as ineffective. 

However, we did not count on the single mindedness and charm of E. Her powers of sweet manipulation did what my candour and my sister's bludgeoning could not, they convinced her to take the step of leaving him and get a place of her own! That was the easy part, she was dreading the 'I'm leaving you' speech and I can understand why. Even though the guy is an inept, deceptive self-aggrandising sociopath my Mother had a sense of loyalty to him and a fear of leaving him to fend for himself. Like an errant child she felt responsible for the guy as she knew he'd just f**k up royally if she didn't take care of his needs. 

E also found the perfect excuse for my Mum to give him the bad news. C (let's call him), had been touting himself on several adult websites looking for company! She searched for his name and the town they lived in and got hits on "LoopyLove", "GirlsDateForFree" and a number of other sites were adults go to do things they probably shouldn't. The perfect early birthday present, the old fool used his full name and home town in his profiles and was just a google search away from being discovered, has been for years! 

The interweb is just like an elephant. It stores away dodgy deeds away in the recesses of its' memory, ready to be plucked out and smacked on your head when payback time comes. C has obviously rued the day he started playing away (he's deleted two of profiles from one site already) and I see it as retribution for a thoroughly unpleasant man.