Review of Crank.. one for Mark

I am a recent convert to the Jason Statham bandwagon and this film is the reason why. Stubbly, balding and beetle-browed, he aint no matinee idol. But here he has carved out a handy little niche as an unconventional action man. 'Crank' stands out as being unique in the genre and is head and shoulders among Statham's other offerings.

Hard Night?

Jason Statham plays Chev Chelios, a freelance hitman who awakes in his home with a splintering headache. What transpired was that Chev has been set up, apparently the powers that be want him dead, and leave a calling card in the form of a video disk of one of his gloating acquaintances, Verona (played by Jose Cantillo). Our hero watches in horror as on screen he is injected with the 'Beijing cocktail'. This drug works in a nifty manner, if Chelios's heart rate drops below a certain level, he dies. 'Speed' without the bus if you will. Judging from Verona's demeanour in this macabre little home movie it'll only be a matter of time before Chev's ticker stops ticking and he drops down dead.. he is VERY mistaken...And with that, our hero is off. He wants to get an antidote, he wants to make it straight with his girl, but most of all, he wants revenge. What follows is the most implausable adrenaline fueled rampage in which Chelios features as a one man crime wave of wreckless driving, thievery, lewdness and murder which you will not see anywhere else. 'Crank' is reminiscent to one of Arnie's action movies of the mid/late 80s. The hero is a human wrecking ball who leaves none of his adversaries standing and despite facing great adversity seems impermeable throughout.

No sense left ungratified

It's incredibly silly. Watching Statham balancing naked save a hospital gown atop a speeding motorbike to the tune of Nilsson's 'Everyone's Talking' is breathtaking in its inappropriateness. The movie has countless 'What the hell is going on?' moments which some people will find tremendously irritating or entertaining. In his search for heart racing highs Chelios marches into a hospital, fends off 3 cops in a search for synthetic adreniline to keep his ticker ticking. He confronts a hospital worker and calmly demands the terrified medic 'juices' him with a heart defibrillator. The wreckless disregard for personal safety of the main character will be refreshing to some, but moronic to others.The whole film is shot in a suitable relentless style, loads of cutting, loads of cameras stuck in faces, loads of continuous movement. Directors Neveldine and Taylor have a music video and commericial backgrounds and the feel of the film certainly reflects that. The action is certainly aimed at a younger generation, more mature audiences may be turned off by the video game-esque touches in the credits and the Google Maps scene decents. In fact the kitchen sink is thrown at the viewer during an opening 40mins of guns, drugs, casual violence and relentless movement which you'll either be enthralled by or will get bored of very quickly. The slowdown in pace for a second act is inevitable, but a disappointment whereas the finale is the full sensory explosion you'd expect.
By nature of the story, the rest of the cast are simply passengers on Chelios' trip. Amy Smart plays girlfriend Eve, who's only role is to make out hero's mission harder. She knows Chelios as a computer programmer not freelance contract killer (seriously??!!) and he wants to set the record straight. Trouble is she is also a ditsy piece of work who those chasing Chev also want to kill to due to her association with him! In short she is just baggage in the quest for revenge, and provides an ingenious oppurtunity for a cardio workout on the streets of Chinatown (if you've seen it, you'll know what I mean)...The rest of the cast serve as target practice for Chelios and his frenetic attentions. Sidekick Kaylo (Efren Ramirez: Pedro in Napoleon Dynamite of all things!) points our hero in the right direction before his messy demise. The other characters are either hassled out the way or butchered in increasingly bloody and emphatic ways. No one is spared the wrath of Chev, some of the slayings are a little formulaic (shootout in deserted warehouse anyone?) but the demise of the bloke who caused all the problems in the first place is breathtaking in its' creativity.

To conclude..

If you are able to take the antics of Chev Chelios with a pinch of salt, you may find yourself entertained by 'Crank'. It is obviously aimed at a young male market with all the thrash metal montages of Stathams gurning head through gunfights and kamikazee encounters. This movie is Grand Theft Auto made into celluloid: Statham here certainly has a similar sense of indestructability, he faces down guns, jumps off helicopters and takes large amounts of stimulatants without seemingly breaking a sweat. So just like any Steven Segal flick then, right? Well actually, no. Statham carries this movie on his massive brooding shoulders and throws himself into the Chelios role like a man jumping out of a window to escape a building collapse. The film has a surreal wit of snappy dialogue and unexpected touches which will also appeal to those who AREN'T in the throes of ADD. For example:

Chelios: [on a quest for hospital ephedrine to keep his heart pumping]_I'm looking for something.. something beginning with E...
Chemist:... England?

Oscar Wilde certainly won't be spinning in his grave with the competition, but it's these touches and Statham's stubbly, baldy presence which kept me royally entertained here. Watch him knock back energy drinks like water and empty packets of energy tablets into his enormous steam shovel mouth will stick with me for a long time...